Songwriters, let me rip you off!
So I get this flyer from a client: she's signed up with an outfit called "Music City Music Records" in Nashville. (Note: not the same "Music City Records" of Ray Charles fame. This one has an extra "Music" in the name.)
Marketing director Carl Miller asks why she hasn't sent her material earlier. "We help some 95 amateur "songpoem" authors a year," he claims, "that we truly believe have a God-given talent. We'll offer you the same thing, when you send your songpoems with protection fee's (sic)."
"It seems to me," Carl continues, "you could at least send the PROTECTION FILING APPLICATION with only $3.75 per song...to get your songs started on the way to becoming HIT SONGS. We GUARANTEE everything we tell you (that's a big nothing so far, Carl)...we are a Christian company."
Wow, Carl, this sounds too good to be true! I've just got a few questions. I'm not up on all your music industry jargon. First, what's a "songpoem?" And why do I need this "protection?" Is it like sunscreen? 'Cause I noticed a pretty unsightly blemish on my butt the other day. Oh, and you said this includes a free membership in the "Songwriters Club of America?" Awesome! Except according to Google, this club doesn't exist. Must be REALLY private and exclusive, eh?
OK FUMP friends: do I round-file this, or send him $3.75 for the entertainment value? Your call.