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Robert Lund and Spaff.com Where I'm Keeping You 
The problem with everlasting love is that it often ain't. Shania Twain's 2003 hit "Forever and for Always," for example, should have been called "For Roughly a Few More Years," because that's how long she and her husband - Mutt Lange, the song's cowriter - stayed together.

But take heart: There are ways to get lovers to stay. Every month, Cosmopolitan lists 101 or so. Here's another.

M. Spaff Sumsion: Lyrics, wrangling.
Mercy Malick: Lead and backing vocals, vamping.
Bob Emmet: Steel guitar, recording, gerrymandering.
Robert Lund: All other instruments, backing vocals, mixing, massaging to a happy ending.

Happy Valentine's Day. If you survive that long.

This song is now available on the following CDs:
2009-01-13 maxgoof
Oh, this is very good... A little sound effects would enhance it, I think. It wasn't until I read the lyrics that I really got it. It's just too close to the original. Mercy Malick is quite a good singer.
2009-01-13 devospice
This is awesome!
2009-01-13 Knarf
I'm just waiting for Mercy to suck it up and just join the FUMP herself
2009-01-13 ProjectSisyphus
Knarf, she would except she's
2009-01-13 filkertom
That is, like, three and a half hoots.
2009-01-13 Spaff.com
Thanks for the comments, kids!

Wow, it would be megafantasticawesome to get Mercy in a video for this. Hmm....

2009-01-14 rick cormier
I love this song. Excellent from the writing to the vocal to the mix. But the line, "where I know how good the spiders on the wall taste". made me howl! You ain't right, Spaff. You ain't right.
2009-01-14 mrwompy
I found this to be particular scary since I recently had to do some work in the tight crawl space under my mother-in-law's house. Great song!
2009-01-15 Carrie Dahlby
Nice job -- I've tagged this to be played at my wedding in May. :)
2009-01-19 djseamus
Ahhhhh....a nice, family, friendly, entrapment song just in time for Saint Valentine's. The drum riffs could be a bit more interesting, but still and all, an awesome country song to add to the list of boot-kickin', down-home Fump hootenannies such as "I think Monroe Shot Rudolph", "Kiss This (Hey IRS)" and Seamonkey's immortal classic "I'm in Love Wit Muh Sister".
2009-01-20 ProjectSisyphus
Carrie I want to be in your wedding band! And congratulations BTW!
2009-02-10 posom2
Awesome, but why's the average score so low?
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