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2009-06-19
Baldbox USF'nA (Geographically Correct Version) This song contains language that may be objectionable to some listeners and may not be suitable for radio broadcast.
featuring Possible Oscar
Baldbox, the one-weekend wonder that wouldn't die, proudly presents the one song on The Dumb Album that took half of that wonder-weekend to write.

After hearing this song, you may ask, "Baldbox, why do you hate America?" We don't! We love America! We just hate every state in the Union.

So we wanted a surf rock shoutout style parody that insults all 50 states. But ShoEboX did not have a surf rock band in his basement [we looked], and we forgot Indiana [the "forgettable state" as their license plate boasts]. We used an old Yamaha keyboard with automatic beats to which the term "rock" had been quaintly applied, and so the version on the CD kinda blows [I know, shocker].

This version is much better. It features hypertalent chameleoncore band Possible Oscar, who just decided one day, out of the blue, on a whim, to be the surf rock band we always wanted but could never find. Even behind the water heater.

This song is now available on the following CDs:
   
Comments:
2009-06-19 oddaustin
Definitely one of my favorites off the Dumb Album, but adding Possible Oscar to it all officially makes it a FuMP classic! Amazing work, guys!!!
2009-06-19 garnsr
Um, don't you go 48, 49, wait, aren't there 50 states? Which one are we missing? Dumb album indeed (but entertaining.)
2009-06-19 lukeski
As we used to say on the NRA Freedom Show on Ray TV, "U.S.A. is HERE TO STAY!!!" 'MERKA!!! Way to rock it BaldBossibleOsBox!
2009-06-19 Insane Ian
This was the song that made me buy the Baldbox CD at Marscon. This is the corrected version that makes me happier than....something extremely happy. Sorry, it's 3 in the morning, and my cleverness is asleep. But YAY NEW(ish) BALDBOX!
2009-06-19 MarlinsGirl
This is my favorite Baldbox track.
2009-06-19 seamonkey
Does this mean your areas are STILL shaved? Talk about waxing your boards! Baldbox makes me PROUD to be an American!! Surf's up!
PS - Possible Oscar makes all tracks better!!
2009-06-19 shoebox
BALDIBLE OSCBOX FOREVER!
2009-06-19 filkertom
This rocks beyond belief. Excellent, guys! Standing O all around.
2009-06-19 TVsKyle
So. Cool.
2009-06-19 saganth
I stared losing it at the Kansas line! Great work you guys! Now, onto Puerto Rico, Guam, and Canada!
2009-06-19 weirdojace
Hooray for Possible Oscar! This is pretty good, guys.
2009-06-19 dino-mike
The lyrics are friggin' brilliant guys!
2009-06-19 critter42
hehe your Tennessee lyric will sure piss off the Middle and East Tennesseans - Excellent!
2009-06-19 DJ Particle
Massachusetts gets a bad rep... it actually has one of the lower sales taxes out there (5% last I knew - MN is 7.75%)
2009-06-19 weirdojace
The line about Tennessee is completely true.
2009-06-20 CaptNova
I have to agree with the New York one. People forget about the rest of the State because of NYC. Man sometimes wish NYC and Long Island just sink in the the sea.
2009-06-20 voiceroy
That was effing hilarious. Got more LPLs (laughs per lyric) than most songs claiming to be funny. @critter42: Elvis called Memphis home -- that's in WEST Tennessee, for the geographically inclined. (And the joke is pretty dang funny, even to someone like myself who is both a Christian and a native Memphian.)
2009-06-21 Alchav
The original was better.
2009-06-22 Balder
Oh shit, ShoEboX! What were we thinking releasing a song without getting Alchav's opinion on it first?
2009-06-23 Fringe
The original Alchav was better.
2009-06-23 Fringe
BTW, LOVE the new version!
2009-06-23 davidtanny
After many edits, that song will not be on the David Tanny show...it's too good. It will be on dfsxradio's stream in the near future instead.
2009-06-24 djseamus
I haven't heard the song yet, but I couldn't resist reading the lyrics to find what was said about my own state: "...And Vermont and New Hampshire are rivals, how pathetic is that?" To that I say: New Hampshire is an up-sidedown Vermont, and furthermore is a state that wishes it could BE Vermont. I've always wondered why New Hampsire is called "The Granite State", when Vermont has the Barre Granite Quarry, which supplied granite to build the capitol building in DC. I'm sure you're song will put the FuMP on the map!
2009-06-24 djseamus
I haven't heard the song yet, but I couldn't resist reading the lyrics to find what was said about my own state: "...And Vermont and New Hampshire are rivals, how pathetic is that?" To that I say: New Hampshire is an up-sidedown Vermont, and furthermore is a state that wishes it could BE Vermont. I've always wondered why New Hampsire is called "The Granite State", when Vermont has the Barre Granite Quarry, which supplied granite to build the capitol building in DC. I'm sure you're song will put the FuMP on the map!
2009-06-26 wildcard9
This song was so F'n good that I forgot to comment on it when it came out. Late applause for the new version of the song.
2009-06-28 djseamus
Yeah, ditto for me too....finally heard the song. Good stuff Baldbox and PossCar. What you said about Vermont and New Hampshire seems tame compared to your bashing of the other states....let's keep it that way, ok? A good song for families vacationing (or Stay-Cationing) this summer.
2009-06-30 katriniac
Rockin' song, guys! Possible Oscar is great on there. And yes, I'm a Minnesotan being nice, but I DON'T secretly hate your guts. Not during this comment, anyway.
2009-07-04 dennismk
Great song! But I don't understand the comments about missing a state. I counted all 50. And let's hear it for California, the only state that was worth mentioning twice! By the way, in the lyrics, Matthew's last name should be spelled Shepard according to www.matthewshepard.org.
2009-07-06 Balder
Dennismk: check out the description of The Dumb Album in the FuMP store. That version was missing Indiana. Thanks for the correction on Matthew Shepard. I could SWEAR I had looked that up as I wrote the lyrics. Oh well, fixed.
2009-07-10 giftedgear
As someone who has been to a crapload of states, I would just like to say that I am offended by your completely accurate characterizations of my various homelands. :-)
2011-01-02 mrjuju
Just a heads up, I used this song in my podcast. I gave both your name and website in the show and release notes, and gave the Fump a shout out as well. If you want to give a listen here is the address (the January 1, 2011 episode has your song in it): http://beyondradio.libsyn.com/january-1-2011
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