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Consortium Of Genius Mallet of Metal 
In this song, we propel you back to the year 1987, when metal was almighty, women were buxom and mysterious, and manly warriors were actually pimply high-schoolers playing with dice and small lead figures! Aside from nostalgic RPG'ing, second edition, natch, this song is also a parody of the 'power metal' genre practiced by bands such as Rhapsody of Fire, Dragonforce, and ESPECIALLY Dethklok. Enjoy at maximum volume...

Production credits:
Lead vocal: Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III
Narration: Charlie Matkin - New Orleans Opera
Background vocals: Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III, Dr. A Rachnid, Dr. Z, Lab Girl Trixie, Filbert Snodgrass
Rhythm guitars: Dr. Harry A Rachnid
Bass: Dr. Z
First guitar solo: Matt Brunson - Kingdom of Sorrow, Crowbar
Second guitar solo: Yngwie Flattstein
Drums: drumbot

Recorded and mixed by Lewis D'Aubin at C.O.G. Secret Lab, Harahan LA

This song is now available on the following CDs:
2009-07-24 Ruben and The Novelty Shack
That was totally awesome, man! I totally enjoyed listening of Mallet of Metal. It kicks all kinds of ass!
2009-07-24 Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III
The cleric and the bard got their asses handed to them for sure. In all seriousness, thanks, very happy you liked it!
2009-07-24 davidtanny
Good song.
2009-07-24 lukeski
Once again, I must bow to the C.O.G.! [CooooG!] Bad Horse was a fool to not give you membership in the Evil League of Evil. Thank you for serving up the metal at the FuMP!
2009-07-24 TVsKyle
Yes!! The FuMP needs more COG!
2009-07-24 Ruben and The Novelty Shack
I must concur wholeheartedly with TV's Kyle and Luke Ski. This totally made my Friday, since Friday is my Roleplaying Day. Namely RIFTs, Heroes Unlimited, Warhamme and everyone's favorite classic, D&D.
2009-07-24 seamonkey
The power! The majesty! The METAL!!!! I just leveled up....
2009-07-24 Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III
Seamonkey speaks the truth... you gain 1,500 experience points JUST BY LISTENING TO THIS SONG!
2009-07-24 weirdojace
You guys have an awesome sound. I need to pick up a CD...
2009-07-25 EMC
Awesome song!
2009-07-25 davidtanny
Pick up their CD "In COG We Trust." I played a bunch of their tracks on my shows in the past.
2009-07-25 Insane Ian
::Bows to the CoG::
2009-07-27 ProjectSisyphus
Cool song! A total Spinal Tap vibe, reminded me of Stonehenge (where the cats meow!).
2009-07-28 devospice
Awesome! You have to love a song that basically parodies itself towards the end.
2009-07-28 Waffleking
This song seriously rocked my socks off.
2009-07-29 computerking
That was all kinds of Hammer-smashing, Hair-grooming AWESOME!
2009-08-02 djseamus
Loved the "mallet/mullet" play-on-words, and your Sean-Connery- impressionist-narrator. Metal is one genre that could definately use a bit of comedy, so three cheers and a mug of meade raised high to the COG!
2009-09-12 voiceroy
Wow. Great style parody. Loved every minute of this.
2009-12-23 forestofthedead
That was one of the best songs I've heard on here. Rock and/or Roll!!!
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