HomeFuMP ArchiveFuMP VideosThe FuMP SideshowAbout The FuMPFeatured ArtistsThe FuMP Online Store
Baldbox Bunny's Big Day 

DAD: Would you like to hear a Baldbox fairy tale about a little bunny and his big day?
KID: No.
DAD: Once upon a time...

Bunny had a busy day.
He ate his breakfast right away.
He made his bed, and went to play.

All his friends came by to say,
"Silly Bunny, what the hey?
Bunny, it's your wedding day!"

Bunny hop.
Bunny run.
Bunny still
Want to have fun.
Bunny free.
Bunny young.
Bunny run away.

They found him at the Green Beret.
He'd had a fifth of Tanqueray,
And half a box of Chardonnay.

They told him it would be okay.
He rambled 'bout the CIA,
And cried that he was so cliche.

Bunny dude,
Bunny man,
Bunny dude,
What the hell, man?
Bunny dude,
Come on man,
Seriously, dude.

(Over the above)
Man, commitment and life and love and dude what do you want for yourself and you're not 16 anymore and devotion and kids and you'll break her heart and is this really what you want and besides dude I'd totally hit that.

Well, Bunny thought about his friends' sage advice, about what he had, and how lucky he was, and about what he really wanted out of life. He nodded soberly, and the effort caused him to fall off his barstool. He awoke and found himself standing at the altar. He looked down at himself and found he was cleaned and dressed. He looked to his Best Man, who gave him a smile and a thumbs up. The strains of "Here Comes The Bride" echoed through the church and he turned to see the woman he loved, her eyes glistening, a smile devoid of any doubt crossing her beautiful face. She loved him. She would always love him. And Buuunnyyyy...
...yyy threw up on his fiancee.
He overturned the whole buffet.
He tinkled in the creme brulee.

He stole the one-horse open sleigh.
He hit the reverend's Chevrolet.
He fractured seven vertebrae.

They haven't seen him since that day.
Police have found his DNA
From Providence to Santa Fe.

But he's in Hell with Pinochet.
He's beating Nixon at Croquet.
And shacking up with Hemmingway.

Bunny go!
Bunny gone.
Bunny mow
Satan's front lawn.
Bunny know.
Bunny blow it.
That's the Bunny song.

DAD: Wasn't that a nice story?
KID: Stop making music, Daddy.

Copyright 2009 Rob Balder / Tim Crist
May be distributed under Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License
Show your support for the artists of the FuMP by making a donation or signing up for a premium subscription.
Level 1 Subscription
Level 1 gives you access to all the high quality (320k) MP3s, including all the songs in our archive. Click here for more information.
Level 2 Subscription
Level 2 gives you access to all the high quality (320k) MP3s, including all the songs in our archive, plus you will receive our bi-monthly compilation CDs with some great bonus material. Click here for more information.
Donate To The FuMP
Any amount is greatly appreciated by our artists.
Host A Banner Ad
Tell all your visitors about The FuMP by placing a banner ad on your site. Click here for the available banners.
Podcast Promo
If you host a podcast please consider running our promo on your show to spread the word.
Have a funny song? Submit it for consideration. If we use it you will be paid and your song will be included on the next FuMP compilation CD.

Click on the link below to submit a song.
Get the latest songs for free, downloaded automatically, or hear Luke Ski and Devo Spice discuss the most recently posted songs.
Click here for podcast info.
C'mon... be our friend! Please?
The FuMP on MySpace
The FuMP on Facebook
The FuMP on Twitter
Radio stations can now download 320k MP3 files ready for broadcast directly from TheFuMP.com. Click on the link below for more information.