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2012-08-21
Devo Spice In The 80s 

(intro)
What’s with kids today?  With the hair in the faces and the dub.. step... is that even music?

(verse 1)
I never thought I’d see the day when I would say that things today
Are crappy and that things were best when I was your age
Yet here we are, movies suck, TV sucks, I hate ‘em, oh
And please don’t get me started on the crap that’s on the radio
  There was no autotune, rappers had skill
No tricks in eighty-six it’s time to build
Mr. Magic’s Rap Attack would pack in all my favorite songs
Now the dial is nothing but Delilah all night long
L.L. Cool J was hard as Hell
And Ice Cube had a bad attitude as well
Now he’s making family comedies that feature farts
And these rappers who can’t rap are crappin’ all over the charts
  You used to see me watching MTV
‘Cause back then they showed things I actually wanted to see
You know, like music videos, and shows like Yo!
MTV Raps, instead of all this reality crap
It makes me wanna cry, is it any wonder why
That I would wanna go back in time like Marty McFly
And dial 867-5309
To call up Jenny and I’ll make her mine
(chorus 1)
In the 80s
Talkin’ ‘bout days gone by
In the 80s
When a woman’s hair was high
In the 80s
In the 80s

(short music break, 4 bars or so)
What happened to good reality TV like Unsolved Mysteries?  Why would anyone want to watch a bunch of people they hate make lots of money?

(verse 2)
This may be crazy but I always thought my car would be KITT
Or possibly the General Lee with Daisy in the back of it
But that just wasn’t meant to be so now I guess you’ll see
The stick figure decals on my SUV
Now that I got kids you know what really makes me sore?
There’s nothing good on Saturday mornin’ anymore
No Superfriends, Scooby-Doo, Smurfs, or Bugs Bunny
“CBS In the Morning,” that supposed to be funny?
But back then as Ash said everything was groovy
Back when there were only three Star Wars movies
Back before attacks upon the Holy Trilogy
When a computer vomited all over everything we see
I liked Freddy Krueger, man, he gave me the creeps
I had computers with a green screen and only one beep
I’d see a kid on a bike and like everyone hollars
All together now “I want my two dollars!”
Time goes on and now those things are all gone
Now I’m yellin’, tellin’ kids to get the Hell off my lawn
And yet despite all this time one thing I still can’t do
Is solve the damn Rubik’s Cube
(chorus 2)
In the 80s
Yeah I wanna go back
In the 80s
Using words like “fresh” and “wack”
In the 80s
In the 80s

(short musical break, probably 4 bars)
I never could figure this thing out.  Ugh, how do I get this green square over to the... wait, where did this purple square come from?  There’s no purple on Rubik’s cubes!

(verse 3/bridge)
No Facebook or “likes,” no, we played outside
With no helmets on our bikes when we took ‘em for a ride
No pictures of girls that are ostrich-styled
Yes our girls were wild, but they actually smiled
  No iTunes, no, we went to the store
And used to bore through the huge pile of vinyl on the floor
No MP3, OMG, or LOL
I’m not kiddin’, no we didn’t have the internet at all

(spoken:) Wait a minute.  No internet?  NO INTERNET?!  How the hell did we survive?

(verse 4)
  Now that you mention it, I kinda like it here
With three thousand TV channels and the picture is clear
Plus Netflix and Hulu, movies on demand
More bad sci-fi than any man can stand
  Now all my friends are at the end of my mouse
I talk to hundreds at a time and never have to leave my house
I got a business that I run in my underwear from here
On this cushion in my couch that’s molded right to my rear
I used to be afraid that Russia’d blow us off the map
Now I shoot birds at pigs with an app while I crap
I got real time feeds for celebrity scandals
And all the free porn my bandwidth can handle
Yeah, music sucks today, but oh man
We had Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, and WHAM!
Plus the New Kids On The Block, Poison, Warrant, A-Ha
And even Milli Vanilli, really, need I go on?
Video games in my time were just fine
But I like how now a gun is drawn with more than just a line
And I can play ‘em with my kids, two boys and a girl
You know I wouldn’t give that up for the world

(chorus 3)
In the 80s
Back when SNL was good
In the 80s
Pretendin’ I was with the Boyz N da Hood
In the 80s
In the 80s

(chorus 4)
In the 80s
I wore clothes with a neon motif
In the 80s
And I’m still askin’ “Where’s the beef?”
In the 80s
In the 80s

(fade out)
OK, now where was I?  Oh, right.  Catsthatlooklikehitler.com  Definitely didn’t have this in the 80s.
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