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2012-10-12
TV's Kyle Eduardo O'Lantern 

Once in Spain or in Russia--
Someplace European like so.
Was a scientist. This one was mad
like it usually goes.

He obtained a small pumpkin
the only one there was in town.
Yes, he made it a monster
although his intentions were sound.

Eduardo O'Lantern!
Was half man, half pumpkin!
Yes, thanks to the lightning,
so buff and so frightening! I'm scared!
Eduardo O'Lantern
Your name was confusing!
Were you Mexican? Irish?
Perhaps it is not here nor there.

'Twas a drought that they suffered from
turning the vegetables brown.
And the scientist brought them Eduardo
to save the whole town.

See, despite his great size
and his rippling muscles abound.
He could nurture the plants
By slamming his fists to the ground.

Eduardo O'Lantern!
They didn't understand you!
All they saw is a beast
But you wouldn't have feasted on bone!
Eduardo O'Lantern!
Could've been their savior.
They could've survived if they had simply left you alone.

Eduardo faced the farmlands and he slammed his massive hands
He tried to use his powers to revitalize the land.
The town folks saw Eduardo and they went into a panic
A pumpkin-headed muscle man they thought it was satanic!

He couldn't speak a word and so he couldn't quite explain
He was a peaceful creature with a turnip for a brain.
They prodded him with pitchforks and then screamed "abomination!"
He still refused the urge of just abandoning his station.

The townsfolk, ever foolish, they continued to protest.
They threatened Ed O'Lantern with their torches to his chest.
He couldn't take the heat, you see, and burned into a crisp.
And with no crops to feed them, yes the town ceased to exist.

Eduardo O'Lantern!
Lad, we hardly knew ye!
Your screams borne of agony
Were only met by deaf ears!
Eduardo O'Lantern!
Could've been their hero.
His mass vegetation
Could have saved their lives and careers.

Eduardo O'Lantern!
Was half man, half pumpkin!
Yes, thanks to the lightning,
so buff and so frightening! I'm scared!
Eduardo O'Lantern
Your name was confusing!
Were you Mexican? Irish?
Perhaps it is not here nor there.
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