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Steve Goodie Beaten On A Jet Plane 

Well I checked my bags for a hundred bucks
Let the TSA look up my butt
Ran to my gate, just in time to board

The lady scanned my boarding pass
I stumbled down the ramp and through first class
To my seat in coach, that's all I could afford

Then they said, sir you'll have to leave
We're overbooked, we need your seat
C'mon, be a sport, someone's gotta go

So I got beaten on a jet plane
Dragged down the aisle to baggage claim
Hope someone caught it on video

At first I thought they must be joking
Wondered what the hell they're smoking
And did they bring enough for all of us

Then United called its special ops
Two over-rated rent-a-cops
But I paid my fare, I'm not gonna budge

But the captain said you're out of luck
We're overbooked, so you're just f***ed
Grab your Cinnabon, it's time to go

So I got beaten on a jet plane
Now everybody knows my name
And the lawyers are blowing up my phone

Cause I got beaten on a jet plane
Got one bad-ass insurance claim
Now I'm United's new CEO
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