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2017-10-31
Devo Spice Trick or Treatin' 

As a kid Halloween was quite the big deal
What I did was eat candy each night as a meal
From a stash so big you’d think it fell off a truck
And I tell you I could swim in it like Scrooge McDuck
My costumes made Mrs. Rosenberg plotz
I don’t know what that means but she said it a lot
Each year we would take our game to the next level
And we’d make our way through town like the Tazmanian Devil
My friends would come visit my vast neighborhood
Then we’d finish up with theirs just as fast as we could
Then the plan was we’d all switch costumes and then
If we can go back out and do the whole thing again
Since I’m out of school ain’t no more trick or treatin’
Have to go the store, buy the candy that I’m eatin’
That’s lame, it isn’t the same as back then
If only I could go trick or treatin’ again
Trick or treatin’, y’all
Trick or treatin’, y’all

Just once, I wanna go and do it again
Get dressed up and go through the neighborhood with my friends
If I could man, I’d be taking my shot
I should, heh… well why not?
Maybe I could dress up like a ghost or a ghoul or
Something and they’ll think I’m a tall middle-schooler
Yeah, I’ll be covered from head to toe
Ain’t no way I’ll be discovered, how would they know?
Maybe I could walk on my knees to look short
Or talk with some kind of voice changer of sorts
And use more young-people slang when I speak
Do kids still say that things are “on fleek?”
I know it’s a plan that I should outgrow
But throw a sheet over my head and I’m good to go
Got the spreadsheet ready for the official tally
I just hope no one thinks I’m headin’ to a Klan rally
Trick or treatin’, y’all
I’m doing it, man!
Trick or treatin’, y’all
I’m actually doing it!  I’m actually going out!

*ding dong*
Devo: "Trick or treat!"
Luke: "Oh, hey Devo.  Taking the kids trick-or-treating, eh?  Um... where are the kids?"
Devo: "No kids.  Just me.  Trick or treat."
*slam*
Devo: "Oh well."

*ding dong*
Devo in weird voice: "Trick or treat!"
Carrie: "Hey Devo.  What's up?"
Devo in weird voice: "I'm not Devo.  I'm Billy from... the... next town over."
*slam*
Devo: "Dammit."

*ding dong*
Devo with voice changer: "Trick or treat!"
Chris: "Hi Tom.  Uh, where's the rest of your crew?"
Devo with voice changer: "*sigh* Just... trick or treat... just put some candy in the bag."
*slam*
Devo: "UGH!"

*ding ding ding ding ding ding ding*  (Doorbell’s broken!)
Shoebox: "Devo, hi.  Um, I thought the rally was moved to next Saturday."
Devo: "What?  I… uh… Oh come on!"

OK fine, so that’s how it’s gonna be then
Guess I’ll be a kid again and get my sweet revenge
I can TP your house or throw eggs at your door
But wait, I’m an adult and this begs for more
I’ll get all your family info and then post on Reddit
Or get a loan in your name and there goes your credit
I said I hoped it wouldn’t have to come down to that
But all it would’ve cost you is a damn Kit Kat
But no, so I guess I’ll give the classics a try
I shop at Costco, you know how many eggs I can buy?
It’ll be weeks before it goes away
And I’m sure you’ll get a fine from the HOA
So remember next year when I come to your door
Make the candy appear or I’m funding a war
If not you’ll find out just how mean I can be
When it seems you didn’t get a Christmas card from me
Trick or treatin’, y’all
And I’ll do it too!
Trick or treatin’, y’all
I’m just that crazy!
Trick or treatin’, y’all
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