Shoebox:
This is a song, it's a song I wrote
So I could sing it with TV's Kyle
Cuz TV's Kyle does really swell songs
And I wanna do a song with him
Kyle:
Well hey there Shoebox, that sounds neat
I'd totally love to do a song with you
But are you sure this is the right song?
The right song for us to sing?
Shoebox:
Kyle why wouldn't it be the right song?
I wrote this song special just for you and me!
It's the perfect song for our debut duet?
What are you saying, Kyle?
Kyle:
Shoebox I certainly mean no offense
It's just that this song really isn't your best
It's repetitive and simple and the words don't rhyme
And the scansion is really just an absolute travesty
Shoebox:
Well I'm going for kind of a playful thing,
With a goofy melody and a simple rhythm
I even kept the lyrics G-rated
For the gosh-darned bean-eatin' kids!
Kyle:
Well there's a thin line between goofy and stupid
And there's a thin line between simple and lazy
And while I appreciate your kid-friendliness
We should try to find another song
Shoebox:
Okay, *beep* I see how it is
Mr. Sideburns-having *beep* thinks he's so *beep*ing great
Well if your *beep*'s so much better than mine
Why don't you go *beeep beep beeep*
Kyle:
Okay, Shoebox, seriously.
You had to have some idea I'd react this way
If for no other reason than the simple fact
That you wrote all of these lyrics
Shoebox:
Oh really, Kyle, that's your excuse?
You were just blindly reading the words I wrote?
Then why don't you tell me in your own words
What you really think of this song?
Kyle:
Honestly, Shoebox, I still think it sucks
It makes the Shaggs look like Bach by comparison
I'm not even sure if I know who the Shaggs are
Since you wrote these lyrics too
Shoebox:
So you're saying anything that I write
You'll just read indescriminately?
Why the hell am I not abusing this power?
I think it's time I start
Kyle:
Bloonzie plowdough sploddily-floog
I eat my armpits and excrete Donna Reed
I live in a bucket full of conical lobsters
And I gargle Form IT-1029
Shoebox
Well now we've come to the end of the song
The song I wrote for me and Kyle to sing
What do you say, then, TV's Kyle?
Do you want to record this song?
Kyle
Yeah I really think I'd rather not
Why don't you get someone else to record it with you?
I bet Austin Aushflomper or whatever his name is
Would happily sing this song?
Austin:
No thanks, I think I'll pass.
Shoebox
Well, *beep* it then, let's have some pie.
(All)
Mmm! Pie! Oh indeed, pie! Good! Pie is quite an acceptable thing! (etc., fading out.)
Copyright 2011 Timothy F. Crist
The FuMP
2011-12-06
Artist
Worm Quartet
After meeting TV's Kyle at MarsCon last year, I immediately thought "I totally wanna do a song with that guy!" So I wrote one almost immediately, and several months later we recorded it, much to the chagrin of all the other artists who've been bugging me to do songs with or for them for years and have been gnashing their teeth in frustration because they never realized that my sole criteria for collaboration prioritization is sideburn length.
You'll note there is no "explicit" or "squick" indicator for this song. Indeed, this song is squeaky-friggin'-clean. Sorry about that.
This is from the upcoming Worm Quartet album "Songs of the Maniacs" which will be available for pre-order really damned soon.
Lyrics and programming: Shoebox
Duet lyrics: TV's Kyle
Special guest appearance: Some other dude
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