Indiana is the Crossroads of America, on charts Wisconsin is our Dairyland, Kansas City is the Heart Our back bone is the Rockies, so strong and hard to pass, But just look behind Steve Rogers & you’ll see our nation’s Ass. That ass defeated Nazis, that ass outleapt Batroc That ass spent several decades frozen solid as a rock That ass took down the Rhino (who can lift a hundred tons) That ass beat Arnim Zola, and Baron Zemo, and his son. It infiltrated Hydra, took it down from the inside, And punched through Iron Man’s armor, that ass known far and wide. Beat Red Skull, and the Kingpin, and the Winter Soldier, too. That ass KOed a werewolf, there’s nothing it can’t do. The ass that dodges lasers, that fights in Zero G That ass that countered Quicksilver, with superhuman speed. Muscular and firm and just above America’s thighs, That ass is so damn worthy, it could lift Mjolnir high! So keep your mottos and your slogans, but I shall raise my glass, To the backside of Steve Rogers, who wields America’s ass! The backside of Steve Rogers, who wields America’s ass!