Every time I send a text, I feel both failed by my reflexes
And the tech I used to text it, and I look like such a jerk.

Am I definitely going or defiantly going?
Are you kicking ass or kissing ass at work?

Ducking A, I am.

Autocorrect, You twist all my words and phrases,
Turn my texts to verbal mazes that would mystify Will Shortz
Autocorrect, Are you just programmed to abuse me,
Twist my meanings and confuse me, or just torment me for sport?
Can’t send a text without the meaning getting wrecked,
Autocorrect.

Did I mean baked or was it naked? I’m not sure that I will make it
One more minute if you keep this bulls hip up.

I tried to send my condolences to a grieving friend,
You wrote my condoms, now his family hates my guts.

Ducking A, they do…

Autocorrect, You twist all my words and phrases,
Turn my texts to verbal mazes that would mystify Will Shortz.
Autocorrect, Are you just programmed to abuse me,
Twist my meanings and confuse me, or just torment me for sport?
Can’t send a text without the meaning getting wrecked,
Autocorrect.

I need a stapler not a stalker, and an epi-pen, not an epic
Penis like you wrote last week, meanwhile
I ate some chicken for my dinner, and not children like you switched it,
Social services must keep you on speed-dial.
Tell me who programmed the words you should reject?
And which contexts that you should not detect?
Every message I receive now is suspect.
Autocorrect.