How did you get to where you are, sir? Did you rise up through the ranks? How did you get to wear that star, sir? Guess I respect it, but the rest of you? No thanks. Just cause your shirt is tight and golden You think you own the fucking ship This Starfleet grad is not beholden As to your future, here’s a tip It’s blanks you’re shooting from that gun, jerk. You’re done, Kirk. Ensigns who posted here before me Said there’s one thing I ought to know. The Captain’s eyes would soon explore me Then he would try to boldly go And he did ogle me in sick bay And on the bridge made kissy noise It’s always “Let’s Act Like a Dick” Day Even in space, boys will be boys But you’re no longer such a young Turk. You’re done, Kirk. Horny frat boy never cracked a book I’m a scientist – who cares how I look What’s this cocktail waitress uniform, Oh, I think I see a pattern They get me to bend over, and see all the way to Saturn But I’m empowered now by Venus You will intimidate no more Pack up your interstellar penis You aren’t going where no man has gone before Your phaser cannot even stun, jerk. When you’re strutting down the halls I am not looking at your balls I study planetary fog I don’t read the captain’s log I have an actual job to do I’m not interested in you Quit your stalkin, and your skulkin Take a lesson from your Vulcan This shit was never any fun, Kirk. You’re done, Kirk. I’m serious, Tiberius.