[verse 1]
The laundry gods have got me outfoxed
I always end up with an odd number of socks
And then I wonder a lot how this happens to me
'Cause you see I don't have an odd number of feet
But I got an idea how they always disappear
As a wormhole appeared in my dryer right here
Caused by the gravity that the socks displace
Yes, the stench ripped a hole in the fabric of space
And now every time that I start another load
I'm afraid that the planet might randomly explode
I still don't understand it, there's an eerie green glow
From the portal in my dryer where all the socks go

[chorus]
There's a hole in space at the back of my dryer
Travels to some place with a piece of my attire
And the situation has grown pretty dire
I'm about to run out of socks
There's a hole in space at the back of my dryer
Don't know how to stop it without catching fire
And I can't afford the one my wife wants me to buy her
I might have to start wearing Crocs

[verse 2]
It only seems to take one sock at a time
And it never takes the ones with holes, and I'm
About to lose my mind, 'cause it mocks and it flouts it
By dropping it down randomly around the house
I find the odd sock any place you can think
Like in the microwave or the space under the sink
By the side of the road, but what's really confusing
Is when they show up in a laundry basket I'm not using
Then it opens up to a tree or power lines
And my HOA sees it and that leads to fines
But ultimately I've got a decision to make
If I go through myself, will there be cake?

[chorus]
There's a hole in space at the back of my dryer
Travels to some place with a piece of my attire
And the situation has grown pretty dire
I'm about to run out of socks
There's a hole in space at the back of my dryer
Don't know how to stop it without catching fire
And I can't afford the one my wife wants me to buy her
Guess I have to start wearing Crocs