I'm alone here on my couch And I'm utterly bereft... Because the movie I last watched Has left me totally wrecked The plot progression seemed so simple Then it turned another way And now my heart's engulfed in flames The big kind, like Michael Bay I could take myself to Facebook Or to Tumblr or to Reddit But there's only one real remedy To fix it then forget it Chorus: I'm gonna write some trashy romance fan fic The duct tape on a broken plot that didn't go my way I'm gonna write some smutty naked faaaan fic Because this fandom needs a hero today It's easy to blame my malcontent On a guy who didn't get the girl His character arc was totally lame Even if he saved the world But wait'll you read the genius that I'm pouring onto page I'm sure you'll change your point of view And join me in my rage Those no-talent hacks in Hollywood Just can't compare to me Even if they are in... Hollywood... And I'm stuck in Kansas City Chorus: I'm gonna write some trashy romance fan fic The magic wand to fix this crap and make it go my way I'm gonna write some angsty drama faaaaan fic Because this fandom needs a hero today v3: I thought my narrow skill set Should be limited to song Thank goodness for the internet That that was totally wrong I've blown through my whole weekend And I also took a sick day My gift of prose is too important To hold inside my brain I could have spent my weekend Doing laundry or the dishes I could have gone out with my friends But that would grant no wishes Chorus: So instead I wrote some trashy romance fan fic The really, really raunchy kind for which I should get paid Instead I wrote some truly awesome faaaaan fic Because this fandom needs a hero today I'm gonna write some trashy romance fan fic A sequel's what this story needs, starting right away I'm gonna write a never ending faaaaaan fic Because this fandom needs a hero today