Grab my toys
Grab my shoes
Don't forget my apple juice
I'm going to grandma's house

Grandma's house is pretty cool
If you like to play backgammon
Yea, they got it out the butthole

I just can't wait for grandma's house
They have Monopoly and PBS
Building a wiener out of play dough

Welcome to grandma's house
Where all the milk is warm and all the hugs go on just a little bit too long
And grandpa says "Stay the fuck off the furniture you goddamn heathens"
Oh yea
Having so much fun at grandma's house

Every visit grandpa says
Stay the fuck out of his shed
There's rusty nails and broken glass in there
So I climb an apple tree
But grandma says that's not for me
It's for the big kids
What the hell else can I do?

I can't play with anything at grandma's house
Can't touch the cookie jar or grandpa's teeth
So I play with rubber bands in the junk drawer

Welcome to grandma's house
You better take your shoes off at the door
Cause grandpa gets flashbacks from Korea
And he's not fucking around anymore
But grandma loves you
She makes you cookies and shit
Oh yea
Having so much fun at grandma's house

Grandma knows how to boogie on down
Grandma, show us how to boogie on down
First you step to the left
Then you step to the right
Then you fart real quiet
And you blame it on grandpa
Then you sew, sew, sew that fucking quilt
For your other grandkids
But you know, know, know that you don't love them as much as me

Grandpa knows how to boogie on down
Grandpa, show us how to boogie on down
First you...
(noises)

And during out dinner, we watch TV
They turn it to Family Feud and Jeopardy
Can't wait to come back again tomorrow

Welcome to grandma's house
This time is better than the last time that you came cause now
Your grandma knows your name and favorite candy
And grandpa's upstairs taking a nap
Cause he's sleepy from the guldurn yard work
Oh yea
Having so much fun at grandma's house