A big storm’s coming, so run away
Or buy fresh water if you choose to stay
You might lose power so be sure to get
Enough candles to summon Baphomet
I’ve never lived in your climate zone
But I know what’s best when I consult my phone
So leave this instant or write your will
Even though the storm is just north of Brazil
Chorus:
Shut your mouth
Why you gotta hurrisplain?
Shut your mouth
Why you gotta hurrisplain?
I see the tempest has finally passed
I’ll bet those zombies have now amassed
Why don’t you answer my fifty texts?
Your cellphone tower was probably hexed
Chop up your tables and burn some logs
When your food runs out and you eat your dogs
I’m sorry your roof was blown to bits
But I’ll bet they’ll fix it if you show them your tits (Chorus)
You shouldn’t live by any means
In a dangerous city like New Orleans
I don’t actually have any gigs for you
But you should come up here and live in Kalamazoo
But wait, there’s Jazz Fest, I love to go
To see Aerosmith and Barry Manilow
I love the music, the food, and beer
Then I’ll victim blame you for the rest of the year (Chorus)
The FuMP
2021-10-17
Artist
Bad Beth and Beyond
For those who live in disaster-prone areas and are sick of outsiders telling us what to do.
Bad Beth and Beyond: lead and backing vocals, electric bouzoukis, bass guitar
Sage Against the Machine: tenor saxophone, backing vocals
DrumBot: drums
Helmut Von Schtickalot: additional vocals
PS. No guitars were used in the making of this song.
Recorded and mixed by Lewis D'Aubin at the COG Secret Lab, Harahan, LA
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