Brak:
Hoo, boy! It's Lunchtime! Time for my favorite food!
Go into the cupboard and- WHAT THE?!
Where's all my cans of, uh- INSANE IAN?!
YOU'RE EATIN' ALL MY BEANS!!!

Verse 1:
Ian’s here eatin’ a treat that lets the gas out
Bein’ here sittin’ so near might make me pass out
Bitten off more than he can chew, what’s he gonna do?
Starin’ you down, he ain’t sharing it with none of you
Beans, the musical fruit, no that ain’t right
They’re a legume that plays a tune with no restraint, quite
Mad, the effect that they had on his digestion
Question, think the air is ever gonna freshen?
But it’s an interesting biologic quandary
Ingesting and digesting build the metabolic foundry
What that means is that you are what you eat
So it seems that Ian is made of beans

Chorus:
Yeah buddy you know I like beans!
And Ian is made of beans!
That must mean I like Ian too!
With a Cheddar Bay Biscuit!
Yeah buddy you know I like beans!
And Ian is made of beans!
That must mean I like Ian too! Oh yeah!
Insane Ian, eat 'em up, yum!

Verse 2:
The table seems unable to tame him like Gonzo
The legendary fables will name him Garbonzo
Breathin’ in the air instead of leavin’ made me gag there
Some people believe he will become a bean bag chair
Or maybe just a life-sized beanie baby
Seemingly he’ll be eatin’ beans ‘til he’s nearly eighty
And he’ll forever be set, he’s never better
‘Cause he stockpiles better than a doomsday prepper
Meanwhile I’ll be hunting misinformation
Of which life choices led to this situation
He should eat some more greens or he won’t fit in his
Jeans, ‘cause Ian is made of beans

Chorus:
Yeah buddy you know I like beans!
And Ian is made of beans!
That must mean I like Ian too!
With no pants on! Hu-Ha!
Yeah buddy you know I like peaches!
But Ian’s not made of peaches!
That was a song by The Presidents Of The United States Of America.
And Ian likes those guys. A lot. He did a tribute album to 'em.
He puts out a new tribute album like every week.
But no BRAK tribute album! He better get on that!
And he better do a cover of my most famous song...
..."I'm A Cucumber!"... Buddy!