CALYPSO GUY:
Bo-o-o Bo!
Bo-bo-o-o-o!
Usher come, say we got’ go home
(USHER: (spoken) It’s too loud—too piercing)
A young man went to a show
With a loudmouth, and almost got blown
It’s a hand job from a raging loon
It’s a first date that ended too soon
Isn’t it Moronic?
Don’t make me think.
A little too moronic
Ugh, I need a drink!
It’s like a ba-a-a-an on your bodily autonomy
An ultra so-o-o-und when you wanted plan B
It’s all these rules from the patriarchy
But I’m as shameless as can be
It’s like a grandma, who’s only 36
With a husband, who likes to show his dick
It took three tries, to pass my GED
(spoken) But, like, who needs brains, when you’re hot like me?
Isn’t it Moronic?
Don’t make me think.
A little too moronic
Jesus, I need a drink!
SPOKEN: Wouldn’t you think I’d get some respect? I’m a congresswoman for god’s sake.
I’m short but I’m nutty
I’m mean but I’m slutty
I’m high ‘cause I’m vaping yeah
But there ain’t no escaping
When your boytoy is gropin’
Right out in the open, baby
And what it all comes down to
Is ripping off the rubes, rubes, rubes
I’ve got one hand in his pocket
And his are busy with my boobs
CALYPSO GUY:
Grope! Grope! Grope, Señora Grope your trashy man
Grope! Grope! Grope, Señora It only takes one hand!
Vape Vape Vape, Señora! Never mind the crowd
Vape vape vape, Señora Do your mama proud
Below the waistline
LAUREN: it was just that one time!
CALYPSO GUY: OK, I believe you!
Below the waistline
LAUREN: it isn’t a crime!
CALYPSO GUY: OK, I believe you!
Below the waistline
LAUREN: The kiddies won’t mind!
CALYPSO GUY: OK, I believe you!
Below the waistline
LAUREN: I’m high! Who cares?
CALYPSO GUY: Whoa!
Isn’t it Moronic?
Don’t make me think.
A little too moronic
We all need a drink!
The FuMP
2023-09-26
Artist
The Suffolk & Goode Players
Sometimes the real action in a theater isn't on the stage! The Suffolk & Goode Players present a multi-parody medley lampooning the recent, um, handiness of everyone's favorite level-headed, not jerky conservative representative, good ol' Lauren Boebert. She is not about to put any theater critics out of a job anytime soon. Parodies of "Ironic" and "Hand In My Pocket" by Alanis Morissette, Banana Boat by Harry Belafonte (with a tip of the beret to Stan Freberg), and Jump In The Line, also by Harry Belafonte. Vocals by Lori Furth & Chris Mezzolesta with special appearance by Lyssa Graham as Bobo. Full disclosure, in the interest of timeliness & complexity, backing tracks were used in this production.
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