After another scandal leading to another resignation For behavior which is gross, but no surprise To solve the basic problem underneath this situation I’ve got a little tip for all you guys: Just ‘cause you’ve got a dick doesn’t mean you’ve gotta act like one Being a man doesn’t mean you need to be a jerk It’s really not that tough, guys Just cut the sexist stuff, guys Is it too much to ask that you don’t grope or harass us at work? Misogyny’s bipartisan, both sides have their own list But now our shmucks resign, thanks to hashtag MeToo Right-wingers who are piling on and gloating should resist Till they call out perverts on their side, like we do, hello! Just ‘cause you’ve got a dick doesn’t mean you should react like one When you get called out don’t blame it on “a generation gap” Even hundreds of years ago, it wasn’t kosher to be a shmoe Plus I’m as old as you so you can spare us that gaslighting crap Women leaders can be bullies too, but overall I’d say We don’t harass, assault or traumatize ‘Cause we’re too busy doing twice the work for half the pay And cleaning up the messes left by guys! So, just ‘cause you’ve got a dick doesn’t mean you’ve gotta act like one Just ‘cause you run the show doesn’t mean that you should Men who wield a lot of power. Think everyone around them should cower But I hope that’s finally changing, knock on wood Despite what you may figger Being a dick DOESN’T make yours bigger So although the subject of this song is a fraught one, Remember you don’t have to act like a dick just because you’ve got one!