I REALLY LIKE THE INTERNET
YOU REALLY LIKE IT TOO, I BET
IT'S LIKE A GIFT THAT CAME DOWN FROM ABOVE
IT GIVES YOU MUSIC, GIVES YOU FUN
AND IF YOU ARE A LUCKY ONE
IT HOOKS YOU UP WITH SOMEONE YOU CAN LOVE
I HIT A SITE BY ACCIDENT
I DID NOT KNOW WHERE I HAD WENT
BUT WHAT I SAW THERE DROPPED ME TO MY KNEES
A TON OF BEAUTIES ON DISPLAY
AND MORE ARRIVING EVERY DAY
AND EVERY ONE A SUPER-SIZIN' TEASE
PEOPLE OF WALMART
YOUR LADIES HAVE STOLE MY HEART
EACH ONE'S A PLAYGROUND SO BIG
THAT I CANNOT FIGURE OUT
WHERE TO START
WHILE SHOPPING AT THEIR FAVORITE STORE
SOMEBODY TAKES THEIR PICTURE FOR
THE WORLD TO LOOK AT, SNICKER, SMILE AND LAUGH
WITH POUNDS OF FLABBY FLAB GALORE
AND CLOTHING FROM A GOODWILL STORE
BUT LET ME SAY A WORD ON THEIR BEHALF
IT TAKES A LOT OF NERVE
TO LOOK AND DRESS LIKE YOU DESERVE
TO BE THE DESIGNATED QUEEN OF TRAILER TRASH
WITH PANTS THAT RIDE SO LOW IN BACK
YOU'RE SHOWIN' MILES AND MILES OF CRACK
YOUR FISHNET TOPS AND MOHAWKS ARE A SMASH
PEOPLE OF WALMART
YOUR LADIES HAVE STOLE MY HEART
I GET SO CARRIED AWAY
LIKE BAGS OF POTATO CHIPS
IN A SHOPPING CART
I WISH I COULD BE SO CONFIDENT
TO WEAR WHAT I WANT WHEREVER I WENT
NEVER WATCH MY WEIGHT, NEVER EXERCISE
WEAR SHORT SHORT PANTS THAT SHOW MY THUNDER THIGHS!
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO LEARN TO BE
SO BIG AND BOLD AND FANCY-FREE
AND REVEL IN THE FREEDOM YOU EMBRACE
EAT ICE CREAM MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT
'N' DRESS IN CLOTHING WAY TOO TIGHT
AND THEN PUT ON A HAPPY SMILEY FACE
HEAD OUT TO DO YOUR SHOPPING
WITH YOUR BELTS AND BUTTONS POPPING
LIVE BETTER! YOU'RE UNFETTERED! YES YOU ARE!
THE GREETER DOESN'T BAT AN EYE
HE'S GLAD TO SEE YOU - SO AM I
NOW SMILE FOR THE CAMERA - YOU'RE A STAR!
PEOPLE OF WALMART
YOUR LADIES HAVE STOLE MY HEART
IF ONE COULD FIT IN MY LIFE
I'D MAKE HER MY WIFE AND WE
WOULD NEVER PART
ROLLBACK - YOUR LOVE TO ME
The FuMP
2011-06-24
Artist
Jesse Smith
Title
People Of Walmart
Like the song says, I found the People Of Walmart site accidentally. It features surreptitiously taken photos of actual Walmart shoppers, a majority of whom are very large women who don't even come close to fitting inside the clothes they've chosen to wear to their favorite retailer.
I immediately wanted to do a FuMP song about this website, but simply piling on obese women was out of the question. I myself am in the 8th month of a 2-year 24-Hour Fitness membership trying to lose my own flab, and I know firsthand what the American food industry does to our bodies. So I did the ol' fliperoo and had the singer praise these ladies' assurance and self-confidence - bonus Power Star if you can spot the reference to Queen's Fat Bottom Girls.
You go, girls!
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