The FuMP - Lyrics to Really Bad Things by Devo Spice

2017-02-14

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Ah, true love. When you'll do anything for your partner, no matter how bizarre, uncomfortable, or disgusting, One thing I've learned in my time on the internet is that I'm glad I don't have one of those freaky fetishes. I mean, if you enjoy being tied up, bound and gagged, and tied to a weathervane on the top of a barn then fine, whatever. I'm just glad I found someone who doesn't require that.

So here's a song about a man with a problem and the woman who loves him for it. I'm sure this is a fetish but I don't feel like googling it right now.

Parody of "Bad Things" by Machine Gun Kelly featuring Camila Cabello.

Lyrics, music: Devo Spice
Vocals: Devo Spice and Blythe Renee
Special thanks to Chris Mezzolesta for helping analyze the music.

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Must be outta my head, must be outta my mind
But I really love that man of mine
so sweet, since we were first dating
The way that he smells is intoxicating
When he's in the stall, it's like his secret lair
He does some really really bad things in there
So bad, my eyes are dilated
What can I say? He's constipated

[verse 1]
(ngh) I just sit here (ngh) and I push and strain
(ngh) And if I push too hard, I might pop my brain
Been a long while, and a mighty bout
And oh my God, smells so bad that I might pass out
Bend over at the waste now, stench dissolving the wall's grout
Nails dig into my thighs, a marble-size piece falls out
And I'm muffling all my shouts, while my teeth all crack in my mouth
As the pain builds up in my gut, hope my colon doesn't pop out

[pre-chorus]
And I said it's quite the endeavor, feels like I'm in here forever
Stars in my vision as I clench my teeth together
I want you forever, we'll asphyxiate together
Ours is much better than just whips and chains and leather

[chorus 2]
Must be outta my head, must be outta my mind
But I really love that man of mine
He's so sweet, since we were first dating
The way that he smells is intoxicating
When he's in the stall, it's like his secret lair
He does some really really bad things in there
So bad, a task force was created
What can I say? He's constipated

[verse 2]
(ngh) I just can't take it (ngh) my face is flush
But at least I beat another level on Candy Crush
It feels like a cannon ball, comes out my ass
And when it passes, it rips me in half
Let me crack a window, try to air out my house
Last time I lit a match, singed off both eyebrows
Sorry that you had to listen, to all the noises that you heard
Like I'm trying to give birth to a twelve pound baby turd

[pre-chorus]
And I said it's quite the endeavor, feels like I'm in here forever (how long have you been in there?)
Stars in my vision as I clench my teeth together
I want you forever, we'll asphyxiate together
Ours is much better than just whips and chains and leather

[chorus 3]
Must be outta my head, must be outta my mind
But I really love that man of mine
He's so sweet, since we were first dating
The way that he smells is intoxicating
When he's in the stall, it's like his secret lair
He does some really really bad things in there
So bad, the dog was sedated
What can I say? He's constipated

[bridge]
The way we lo-o-ove, is so unique
And what he do-(cough)-oes, is just for me
And screw them if they judge us, 'cause they don't see
But baby hurry up, I have to pee

[chorus 4]
Must be outta my head, must be outta my mind
But I really love that man of mine
He's so sweet, since we were first dating
The way that he smells is intoxicating
When he's in the stall, it's like his secret lair
He does some really really bad things in there
So bad, the birds all migrated
What can I say? (Jeez, baby) He's constipated