ROMAN NUMERALS
(Parody of "New Math" by Tom Lehrer)
(New lyrics by Dave Guhlow)

Consider the following subtraction problem:
1051 – 155, equals 896

Now the book that I got this problem out of wants you to do it in Roman numerals.
But don’t panic. Roman numerals are just like our numerals, if you’re Julius Caesar.

It would then read, MLI – CLV
Shall we have a go at it?
Hang on

You can’t take V from I
I is less than V
So you look, at the L, in the X place

Now that’s really five X
So you make it four X, regroup
But you can’t have four X right in a row
So you change four X, to read XL
Add X, to the I, to get XI
And you take away V, that’s VI

Is that clear?

Now instead of L, in the X place
You’ve XL, cause you added one, that is to say X, to the I
But you can’t take L, from XL
So you look, at the M, in the C place

Now that’s really ten Cs
So you make it nine Cs, regroup
But you can’t have nine Cs right in a row
So you change nine Cs, to read CM
Add C to XL, for CXL
And you take away L, that’s XC

Got all that?

Now go back to the C place
You’ve got CM
And you take away C
And that leaves …
That’s right, DCCC

Aren’t they clever?
Then why’d they lose their empire?

Hooray for Roman nu-u-u-m’rals
You won’t be needing them before your own fun’rals
They’re so ancient, so very ancient
That a child of Caesar’s, would use ’em

Come back tomorrow night
We’re gonna do, Sanskrit