A long time ago when the Earth was green, There was more kinds of animals than you'd ever seen. They'd run around free while the world was being born, But the tastiest of all was the unicorn! I’ve feasted on sloths and carp and lambs, Anchovies and fruit bats, orangutans, And every beast that has two horns, But I never tasted nothing like a unicorn. You can eat it barbecued or fricasseed, Dry rub or marinate in herbs and mead, Stewed with veggies, locally grown, Or raw like an apple, straight offa the bone! I’ve feasted on sloths and carp and lambs, Anchovies and fruit bats, orangutans, And every beast that has two horns, But I never tasted nothing like a uminicorn, hey! Some royals like their ambergris Or matsutake mushrooms, or fresh moose cheese. Or kobe beef or saffron or caviar… But unicorn meat just steals my heart! I’ve feasted on sloths and carp and lambs, Anchovies and fruit bats, orangutans, And every beast that has two horns, But I never tasted nothing like a unicorn!