"Two Years Too Late"

She used to be a party girl
She used to always sleep around
She’d drink vodka straight from the bottle till she hurled
And then pass out on the ground

She looked for love in all the wrong places
She did whatever any man would say
You didn’t have to be too persuasive
But finally there came that day

She straightened up and had a child
No more booze, no longer wild
It's been 24 months and her life is going great
Now she's my girlfriend and I guess I met her two years too late

She's gone back to school to get her degree
She reads The Book of Mormon in bed
Her coffee ain't got no caffeine
That ain't coke, it's a line of Sweet N' Low instead

Don't wanna party, no no no
She'd rather stay home and watch the AGT results show
She talks about moving to a more conservative state
She's my girlfriend and I met her two years too late

She used to run through Main Street totally exposed
And she could suck a bowling ball through a garden hose
Maybe she'll fall off the wagon, one can only hope and pray and wait
She's my girlfriend...

She's told me all the stories...

All the crazy shit she used to do...

About the partying and all the countless black dudes...

And after I wipe off all the lube...

I can't help but think...

I think I met her two years too late