(chorus)
All I wanna do is Zoom-a-Zoom Zoom Zoom from my spare room
Just work from home! (repeat 4 times)
(checks)
Check, maybe, check, maybe, one, two, three, four
Check, maybe, check, am I coming through OK?
Check, maybe, check, can you guys see me?
Check, maybe, check, OK
(verse 1)
It's called a Zoom meeting, it's needed when you're working remotely
I'm feeling lonely, and this software is the only
Connection I have to my team back in the office
Six meetings by noon, I think I'm never getting off this
Turn on the camera so they see my face
But never will they ever see a thing below the waist
Now since I got the background to appear, can you guess
Where I am? Here's a hint, it's got a long park tram
Pass control so you can try to make your point
Again, but when you share your screen I'm seeing dirty pics of men
But now I should mute my mic as I start eating
So they don't hear me eat my lunch on a Zoom meeting
(chorus)
All I wanna do is Zoom-a-Zoom Zoom Zoom from my spare room (first time with mouth full)
Just eat your lunch! (repeat 4 times)
(checks)
Check, maybe, check, maybe, one, two, three, four
Yiggity yes
Check, maybe, Ian, are you on?
Yup yup
Ian I can see you but I don't hear anything
Yup yup
Check, maybe, check, OK
(verse 2)
Yup yup, it's working, certain 'cause with Zoom I'm an artist
Virtual background got me inside the TARDIS
What I need with these responsibilities that I'm shirking
Is a virtual foreground so it looks like I'm working
This meeting is boring to the core of my being
But doing it in my underwear is quite freeing
Not mean to cut you off, not mean to interrupt
But yup, there's a lag, and it keeps popping up
I like the way you... no you go
Do you think that... oh go ahead
I like the way you... go ahead
Do you think that... sorry, you go
I just wanted to say... ugh!
I was gonna say that... no you go
(spoken): I'm glad I didn't get out of bed for this
(chorus)
All I wanna do is Zoom-a-Zoom Zoom Zoom from my bedroom
It's such a dump! (repeat 4 times)
(verse 3)
Take it, take it, take it, now take it
I can take every Zoom meeting buck naked
Bandwidth is bad 'cause Netflix is streaming
Won't turn off my mic so you'll hear my kid screaming
I didn't shave my face (shave it!) I didn't cut my hair
My uncle's walking 'round in his ratty underwear
Come on, pass the controls so I can stream
Share it, baby, share it, baby, share my new meme
I can hack into another room, (room!) and make
A fake name, boom! Ralph Kramden with the Bang-Zoom! (ooooohhh)
The way I'm making it mine is just a sign
That I'm a troll with a whole lot of time
But I ain't in this meeting, just harassing
And I ain't turning off my camera when I'm in the bathroom
No, no no. No! No-NO NO!!
Yeah, watch it, baby, watch it baby, watch it like that!
Aww, stop it, dude, stop it, oh God, shut it off!
Ahh! Dammit, someone ban him! Please ban him right now!
(chorus)
All I wanna do is Zoom-a-Zoom Zoom Zoom from my bathroom
Just take a dump! (repeat 4 times)
(spoken outro)
I heard Zoom sends all your data to China.
Free Taiwan! There. Now they won't.
OK, I gotta jump off. I got a ten o'clock.
OK. My dog needs to go out anyway.
I heard the President's having a meeting with the Joint Chiefs. I'm gonna try to crash it.
OK, good luck!
Talk to you later.
