Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day everybody! To celebrate, this song has absolutely nothing to do with pirates. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Over a year ago I was asked by Kyle Kallgren, aka Oancitizen, host of the movie review web series Brows Held High (which can be seen on such fine sites as this one and this one) if I, as my internet reviewer persona Some Jerk With A Camera, would be interested in collaborating with him on an epic three-part musical review of LA BELLE ET LA BETE, Jean Cocteau's classic French adaptation of BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, with parodies of songs from Disney's ubiquitous 1991 animated version. Over one year and dozens of cameos later, we have DONE JUST THAT! The finished three-part review can be seen here, here and here, and the songs can be downloaded right here on my Bandcamp page!

One such song is a good ol' fashioned French-bashing ditty to the tune of "Be Our Guest" called "Cause It's French" and THIS is a special alternate version featuring the original lyrics I wrote with Kyle, covering such topics as EuroDisneyland and the inevitable future war between humans and sentient teapots. We eventually decided to rewrite it into something more on-topic, but we still liked the original lyrics so we recorded them too! Enjoy, mateys! Arrrgh or something.