The FuMP
2013-09-20
Artist
Devo Spice
Title
Piratz Tavern EXPLICIT
Piratz Tavern is a pirate themed bar in Silver Springs, MD that was the unfortunate victim of a reality show called Bar Rescue. The Tavern approached Bar Rescue with a specific list of issues they wanted addressed. None of those issues were addressed by the show. Instead, the crew and host Jon Taffer showed up, shouted "NEERRRDDS!" a la Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds, and gutted the bar. Using a combination of half-truths, quotes taken out of context, staged scenes, and outright lies they made the bar look like a pathetic shell of a business that was on the verge of failure, staffed by a group of incompetent buffoons who "would rather play pirate" than run a business.
This song was commissioned by one of Piratz Tavern's regulars from my Kickstarter campaign from last year. It features background vocals by the great Luke Ski, Insane Ian, TV's Kyle, Tony Goldmark, Annie Lynsen, and Nathan "Black Dog Nate" Rosen.
If you want to watch the episode in question you can do so here. Just keep in mind the parts that aren't entirely made up are highly exaggerated. There's a good article about it here.
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Comments
TonyGoldmark - Sep 20, 2013
Right, because if the notion of pirates could make money in any way, shape or form, they would've done so by now via a series of movies or something. Anyway, great track, Devo! I had no idea you'd use so much of my rambling toothly banter.
TonyGoldmark - Sep 20, 2013
Right, because if the notion of pirates could make money in any way, shape or form, they would've done so by now via a series of movies or something. Anyway, great track, Devo! I had no idea you'd use so much of my rambling toothly banter.
DJ Particle - Sep 20, 2013
Like I said, I didn't say Taffer was *right* ;)
BlackDogNate - Sep 20, 2013
BRAVO, SIR! You've blown this one out of the water. I knew you'd do a fine job, but this song is even greater than I imagined. Next time you show your face at Piratz Tavern, I'll buy you all the grog you can drink! And thanks to everyone who helped out on the vocals-- top-notch pirates, each and every one of you.
dino-mike - Sep 20, 2013
This song was seriously funny and well done Devo... I literally spit out my mouthwash with the "Sea Men in your face" line! BTW: expect the bill for my new keyboard.
devospice - Sep 20, 2013
Yar! Glad you liked it, Nate! Hopefully I'll make it down to BaltiCon next year and if I do I fully plan to check the place out. Thanks guys!
mrwompy - Sep 20, 2013
A three arrr tour ... ARRRRRGH!!! 8^)
davidtanny - Sep 20, 2013
No ARRRRgument from me.
madmanOTL - Sep 20, 2013
Saw two episodes of Bar Rescue a couple of weeks ago and could tell things were stages and exaggerated. Thanks for providing links to the episode and story about it. Great song.
Insane Ian - Sep 21, 2013
This is awesome, thanks for letting me be a pARt of it, me hearty
Todd Chappelle - Sep 26, 2013
There are so many clever lines in this one, great job.
djseamus - Oct 4, 2013
Arrr! Capn' Spice! Been quite a long while since I heared yer last rhynim' ditty! This here pirate rap pleases this seadog much! So much so that I say, would all hip hop music contain a wee bit o' that piratitude why I would listen t' hip-hop from sun-up t' sun-down! A fine job done by ye and yer scurvey crew o' fellow Fumpers! Yarrr! A belated Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day to all o' ye!
Lonnyhedge - Dec 7, 2014
I only signed up to say this song sucked and piratz Tavern sucks.
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DJ Particle - Sep 20, 2013
Taffer actually mentioned this episode specifically when he was interviewed by Tom Leykis last year. Taffer's side of it was that the gimmick wasn't a moneymaker and thus deserved to be thrown out. Not saying Taffer was right, but his objections were apparently from a purely business standpoint.