Paging Doctor House... Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto a break-in about the show, "House" (LoGatto)
Contains Clips From: "Teardrop" by Massive Attack "When Will You Die" by They Might Be Giants "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga "St. James Infirmary" by Hugh Laurie "WalkingSilly" by the great Luke Ski feat. Dan of Flat 29 "Born Under A Bad Sign" by Homer Simpson "House!" by Insane Ian "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 f/ Christina Aguilera "Ben Crazy" by Dickie Goodman & Dr. I.M. Ill "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO f/ Lauren Bennett & GoonRock "Charlie Sheen" by Power Salad "Rolling In The Deep" by Adele "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull f/ Ne-Yo, Nayer and Afrojack "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars "Out Of Snark" by Tom Smith "Insane In The Brain" by Cypress Hill "The Remedy" by Jason Mraz "Enhanced" by Devo Spice "Existential Blues" by Tom "T-Bone" Stankus Charlie Sheen's interview "We No Speak Americano" by Yolanda Be Cool & DCup Charlie Sheen saying "Biwinning" "Sad As You Like" by Punt & Dennis "A Couple Of Days Off" by Huey Lewis & The News "Old Rivers" by Walter Brennan
(opens with "Teardrop" by Massive Attack)
We're here at the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, where we're getting a chance to interview the eccentric medical genius, Gregory House. I don't see him in the waiting room, but look, there's hospital administrator Lisa Cuddy! Miss Cuddy, what are your thoughts on Dr. House?
"You're insane, you are bad; you wreck everything you touch and you're a sociopath!" (from "When Will You Die" by They Might Be Giants.)
But why do you have so much animosity towards House?
"I was born this way!" (from "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga.)
But can you at least tell me where he is?
"St. James Infirmary." (from "St. James Infirmary Blues" by Hugh Laurie.)
Wait! I see him coming in now!
"WalkingSilly once again." (from "WalkingSilly" by the great Luke Ski f/ Dan of Flat 29.)
Dr. House, you're considered a medical genius, but act nothing more than a misanthrope. Why is that?
"Born under a bad sign..." (from "Born Under A Bad Sign" by Homer Simpson.)
But I'm sure you're considered a genius at your field. Any comparisons?
"Sherlock Holmes of medicine." (from "House!" by Insane Ian.)
I see that you're taking vicodin to calm your injured leg. What does it feel like?
"I've got the moves like Jagger, I've got the mooooooves... like Jagger!" (from "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 f/ Christina Aguilera.)
But where did you get your degree from?
"Ben Crazy." (from "Ben Crazy" by Dickie Goodman & Dr. I.M. Ill.)
Why am I not surprised?
(beeper noises)
Looks like you're getting a call from your staff; what's happening?
"Party rock is in the house tonight!" (from "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO f/ Lauren Bennett & GoonRock.)
I'm guessing that means you've got another medical case. Who is the patient this time?
"Charlie Sheen!" (from "Charlie Sheen" by Power Salad.)
I'm here with House and his medical staff in Charlie Sheen's hospital room. Dr. Foreman, what is Mr. Sheen's problem?
"Rolling in the deep!" (from "Rolling In The Deep" by Adele.)
Well, he does seem to rant incoherently at this point.
"Picture that with a kodak. And better yet, go to Times Square; take a picture of me with a Kodak." (from "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull f/ Ne-Yo, Nayer and Afrojack.)
House, can you do anything for him?
"I don't feel like doing anything (whistles)." (from "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars.)
But why?
"I've run out snark." (from "Out Of Snark" by Tom Smith.)
But can't you see he's going crazy?
"I think I'm going crazy!" (from "Insane In The Brain" by Cypress Hill.)
Thirteen, what is your prognosis on the situation?
"Well if you gots the poison, I gots the remedy." (from "The Remedy" by Jason Mraz.)
And Dr. Taub, since your previous profession was plastic surgery, what would you suggest for Charlie Sheen?
"Lips done, *beeps* done, everything big!" (from "Enhanced" by Devo Spice.)
Wait, it seems that House has solved the mystery! What is it that will cure Mr. Sheen?
"A frontal lobotomy!" (from "Existential Blues" by Tom "T-Bone" Stankus.)
We're here with the team at the surgery room. Mr. Sheen, what are your thoughts on Dr. House operating on your brain?
"Oh wait, I can't process that; losers! Winning!" (from Charlie Sheen's interview.)
Well it looks like House is going to calm Charlie down in the only language he understands.
"Papa americano." (from "We No Speak Americano" by Yolanda Be Cool & DCup.)
(as he speaks, various sounds of medical equipment is heard as well as Charlie Sheen repeatedly saying "Biwinning.")
Looks like House and his team are hard at work fixing Charlie Sheen. Foster, Taub, Thirteen and Chase are doing their best. Dr. Wilson, how would you rate House's expertise?
"Sadness... is a very difficult concept to explain. Let me try..." (from "Sad As You Like" by Punt & Dennis.)
Wait, hold that thought! Looks like something's going wrong in the operating room!
(Charlie Sheen keeps saying "Biwinning" until he slows down and we hit the flatline.)
Well, Dr. House. Looks like for the third or fourth time in your career you've lost another patient.
"All I want is a couple days off!" (from "A Couple Days Off" by Huey Lewis & The News.)
One last question before you go: now that we have lost Mr. Sheen, who else will be next in the surgery ward?
"That mule... Old Rivers... and me..." (from "Old Rivers" by Walter Brennan.)
(cue final note from "Teardrop" by Massive Attack.)