The FuMP Sideshow

Lyrics

Do you have to scream When I ask you on a date? No mace it hurts my face Please don't stick your dog on me Cause I swear to you I won't always look this way Flabby man boobies And my ear hair's frizzy But I don't wanna be homely no more I don't wanna have to look like this When I walk up and knock on my date's door Don't wanna get shoved into the bushes I don't wanna be ugly no more I don't wanna have a face like this So before you laugh and beat me up know for sure I don't want to be homely anymore Can't control my pee, so I have to wear Depends Chicks, they just can't see, past my excessive flatulence And my nails are green, missing half my teeth Girl, you don't really like my farmer's tan Scratch my groin with my hand; got that itchy rash again Makes me want to cry I don't wanna be homely no more I don't wanna wear this pelvic brace When I see a hot chick and I try to score I always get the door slammed in my face I don't wanna repulse you no more You yell "Hi Gene!" but my name is Jace So when you think you're gonna dump me know for sure I'm not gonna be homely anymore What if I work out for you, what if I would brush my teeth What if I would wax my unibrow and pick my nosehairs clean If I stop attracting flies, bathe with regularity Shave my back, clean out my ear goo, lose the pork-chop, mullet hairdo I don't wanna be homely no more I don't wanna face all full of zits Gonna buy deodorant at the drug store So you don't have to smell my sweaty pits I'm not gonna have stank breath no more I decided to invest in mints So when I blow a kiss you won't faint on the floor I don't want to be homely anymore I don't wanna be homely anymore... Won't find my dates at the dog pound anymore... Won't ask grandma to prom night anymore...

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