Oh
I am very envious of stuff that's rather worthless
Old toy games like Battle Ship
and cars like the Ford Taurus
Anything my best friend has
Even his halitosis

I am very envious of stuff that's rather worthless
I want a fiddle that is played by this guy
I want a fiddle that is played by this guy

My good friend think's that I'm a freak
Because I've got this fad
I even want me friend's physique
And all he's ever had
But you must think I'm quite the nerd
My envy always shows

I don't think it's all that absurd
I'm jealous of his clothes

Oh!

I am very envious of stuff that's rather worthless
Things like his old oven mits
and his dog named ferocious
He's got lots of useless stuff
Like a glowing bed of roses

I am very envious of stuff that's rather worthless
I want a fiddle that is played by this guy
I want a fiddle that is played by this guy

I want his chapstick and his girl
and his old ravished tent
His Asian swords and Batman trays
Although they have a dent

His junk has gotten me in awe
even his old jet skis
I think about it once again
I think that you'd agree

Oh..
I am very envious of stuff that's rather worthless
Even his old paper planes
and his statue of Moses
Give me his old play handcuffs
And the music he composes

I am very envious of stuff that's rather worthless
I want a fiddle that is played by this guy
I want a fiddle that is played by this guy

So even though I'm rather young
I can't go on this way
I really cannot be deterred
And I hope he never goes away
I've stollen his divorce decree
and his swiss army knife

I wish I had his lavish curls
And I want his shiny fife

I am very envious of stuff that's rather worthless
I am very envious of stuff that's rather worthless
I am very envious of stuff that's rather worthless
I am very envious of stuff that's rather worthless