I am a very lazy useless selfish individual
I'm lacking knowledge hooked on cable, Nintendo, and shopping malls
I have many excuses, and I use them quite rhetorical
From Fluffy died to having flus, I use them metaphorical

My friends have caught me naked, too, they say my dirt's fanatical
I clean up on occasion, but still my smell's despicable
I'm singing way too quickly as I'm dealing with a lot of booze
When I wake up too early I reach over and I hit the snooze

**Family**
When he wakes up too early he'll reach over and hit the snooze
When he wakes up too early he'll reach over and hit the snooze
When he wakes up too early he'll reach over and hit the flippin' snooze
**End Family**

I don't take any showers or necessary wash and brush
I don't know anything about politics or calculus
In fact, in matters variable, self-control, and logical
I am a very lazy useless selfish individual

**Family**
In fact, in matters variable, self-control, and logical
He is a very lazy useless selfish individual
**End Family**

I flunked in ancient history, because I faked the chicken pox
I only hear a mouse click, cause I use it to buy drugs like rox
I don't get too excited at a visit a distant cuz'
In fact I'd have to clean up all of the fleas and bury my puss

Prob'bly get a million visits monthly from the town police
They say the odor's reeking and it has been for 92 weeks
But I can be a deuce and then not answer the door no more
And stay inside the room of which internal rats and mice adore

**Family**
And stay inside the room of which internal rats and mice adore
And stay inside the room of which internal rats and mice adore
And stay inside the room of which internal rats and mice sadly adore
**End Family**

Now those who think I'm smart have quite surely been misinformed
I'm tall and skinny 'cause I do not ever clean my flippin' dorm
In frank, in matters satirical, practical, and critical
I am a very lazy useless selfish individual

**Family**
In frank, in matters satirical, practical, and critical
He is a very lazy useless selfish individual
**End Family**

Now then, I do not see the point in marathons or precision
When all I need's in front of me on shows on the Television
When I can beat you any day in virtual intense combat
And yes I know it's nasty that I look like an old stinky rat

When my place looks like it's been hit and is all full of debris
I'll dress it up with antics like some Air Wick spray and potpourri
My sloth is quite unflattering and leaves me drained of energy
Some say I am quite Lazy-useless and not too many disagree

**Family**
Some say he is quite Lazy-useless and not too many disagree
Some say he is quite Lazy-useless and not too many disagree
Some say he is quite Lazy-useless and not too many really disagree
**End Family**

Yes I really do acknowledge, that my room is quite a bit scary
Perhaps I should be taken off to a penitentiary
Because in matters societal, empirical, and financial
I am a very lazy useless selfish individual

**Family**
Because in matters societal, empirical, and financial
He is a very lazy useless selfish individual
**End Family**